Is God Disappointed With Me?

Does God feel disappointed in us when we sin, miss the mark, or make a mistake? When we approach him with our failure is his immediate response, "I can't believe you behaved like that," or "I am surprised that you would do such a thing."?

Disappointment implies surprise.¹ It says, "I expected more out of you, and you have let me down." And while God's standard is holy perfection, he knows us through and through and is not surprised when we sin or harbor evil thoughts in our minds; he knows our nature. To be clear: we are culpable for our sin, and our sinful actions do not bring pleasure to God, they grieve him. But is disappointment the proper word to describe how God feels toward his children when they fail?

Let me ask this question another way. Would we be safe to say that God is not disappointed when we come to a realization of some form of evil residing in the chambers of our heart? Does an awareness on our part of some sin buried deep in our heart suddenly make God, who knows our hearts completely, feel disappointed? Jesus knows us completely, our hearts being utterly open before him -

For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.²

He created us and knows how we are built. He understands our nature with its tendencies and flaws -

for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.³

When we became new creations, did our sinful tendencies suddenly disappear? Does having a heart of flesh mean that our heart is rid of all fleshly desires? If that were the case, there would be no need to resist temptation for our hearts would be immune to the lure of sin's pleasures; there would be no exhortation in the bible such as the one Paul gave to Timothy -

But keep away from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace, in company with others who call on the Lord from a pure heart.⁴

And James would not have addressed this abiding evil desire when writing,

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.⁵

Having temptation does not mean you are lost or haven't been born again. It does not mean your heart is unconverted. Instead, it should bring to the forefront your need to approach him, for that is where mercy and grace are found -

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.⁶

And scripture encourages us to do so - to approach the one who sees it all anyways. He is not waiting for you to clean up your act; he is waiting for you to see your need and bring it to him.

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.⁷

We, at times, may fall into discouragement, or even despair. But not to worry or be anxious. While we may be disappointed in ourselves, the Lord states his faithful character and shows us his heart toward those who will come to him in spite of their failing -

A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he has brought justice through to victory.⁸

This is how God feels about you. He will take what little desire you have in your brokenness and set it right and fan the dying flame into life. He brings victory. And he brings further encouragement to those who may feel their request is much too great an obstacle for the one who has already done so much for us -

He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ⁹

He provides for us in our weakness, even when we feel too weak to pray,

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.¹⁰

and even lift our heads,

But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.¹¹

We can come to God with our weaknesses and sins. It is his grace that makes us aware of them. He is not surprised or disappointed when the dark thoughts of our hearts surface.

While our evil thoughts and the actions that stem from them bring him no pleasure, he knows our frames and is not surprised.

We should never let our disappointment in self keep us from coming to him for he invites us to come to him for cleansing and healing.

References

¹ Disappointed: (of a person) sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfill one's hopes or expectations.

"I'm disappointed in you, Mary"

I believe the word disappointed by definition implies surprise on the part of the person being disappointed. It shows a lack of understanding or knowledge in the person who did the disappointing. If you do a word search for "disappointed" in Scripture, you will find the results apply to man being disappointed, not God. We do become disappointed, but we must be careful not project our nature or our tendencies onto our view of who God is.

² Mark 7:21-22 NIV

³ Psalms 103:14

⁴ 2 Timothy 2:22

⁵ James 1:14

⁶ Hebrews 4:16

⁷ Hebrews 4:13 NIV

⁸ Matthew 12:20 NIV

⁹ Romans 8:32 NIV

¹⁰ Romans 8:26 NIV

¹¹ Psalms 3:3